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Our 24/7 cancer helpline provides information and answers for people dealing with cancer. We can connect you with trained cancer information specialists who will answer questions about a cancer diagnosis and provide guidance and a compassionate ear.
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Our highly trained specialists are available 24/7 via phone and on weekdays can assist through online chat. We connect patients, caregivers, and family members with essential services and resources at every step of their cancer journey. Ask us how you can get involved and support the fight against cancer. Some of the topics we can assist with include:
For medical questions, we encourage you to review our information with your doctor.
Your loved one might experience anxiety, depression, loneliness, or other mental health symptoms throughout their cancer journey. This can happen at any point during or after treatment.
There are many ways you can support them, and yourself, through this time.
For many people, survivorship after cancer treatment is one of the hardest parts of the entire journey. Your support is especially important during this time.
The weeks and months after cancer treatment can be confusing for many survivors. It’s common for phone calls, doctor visits, and support to fade away when treatment ends. People often ask survivors if they are happy to be “done.” But this is not always the case.
Many people are not well prepared for the transition from treatment to survivorship. Financial strains, long-term and late side effects, and fear of recurrence can feel overwhelming and lonely.
Your loved one might think there is something wrong with them for feeling this way. They might be afraid to share their feelings because they think they “should” be happy and “back to normal.”
No matter where your loved one is on their cancer journey, your support is important. There are many ways you can show you care. Small acts of kindness are often the most meaningful.
Tell your friend or loved one it’s okay to talk with you about their cancer. They might not bring it up because they 诲辞苍’迟 want to burden you. Let them know you are here to listen.
Tell them it’s okay if they 诲辞苍’迟 want to talk about their cancer. They might want to talk about things that make them feel “normal,” like what’s going on at work or a show you’re watching.
Ask them if they want advice or if they just want support. If they aren’t looking for advice, try not to give it. Resist the urge to try to cheer them up or fix them. Meet them where they are and just hold space for them to share without judgment.
If you freeze or 诲辞苍’迟 know what to say, you can just tell the truth: “I 诲辞苍’迟 even know what to say, but I care about you so much and I’m here for you.”
Be open with them. If you’re scared, tell them. Hiding it doesn’t make the situation any better. Hearing how you feel might help them see they aren’t alone.
Don’t be afraid to touch, hug, or shake hands (if the other person is okay with this). These short moments of human connection can mean a lot to someone with cancer who is feeling alone.
Ask them for 3 specific things you can do to be there for them. This could be doing a load of laundry, bringing their favorite treat, or grabbing dinner and talking.
Offer to help with things they need to get done around the house, like grabbing groceries or taking care of a pet. This way, you’ll spend time together while also helping with their to-do list.
If you can’t be there in person, virtual connections are another way to help someone who is feeling lonely or distressed. Even if you do spend time together in person, online games or apps are another chance to connect.
Don’t stop inviting someone to do things just because they have cancer. Simply being asked and invited is meaningful, even if they can’t go.
If your loved one’s mental health symptoms continue, it might be time for them to seek professional support. Offer to help them find a counselor or therapist who specializes in supporting people with cancer. Mental health professionals can provide tools to cope with emotional challenges.
Caregivers, friends, and family of people with cancer can also experience anxiety, depression, loneliness, and mental distress. These tips apply to you, too.
When a loved one has cancer, it can be hard to know what to say (or what not to say).
Many of us find ourselves using common phrases like “You’re so brave” or “You must be happy to be cancer free.” These are usually said out of love or sympathy. But many people who have, or had, cancer say that these common phrases aren’t helpful. In some cases, they can even be hurtful.
Every person is different. These phrases 诲辞苍’迟 bother everyone. But it’s a good idea to keep them in mind when you find yourself at a loss for words.
Instead of saying: “You’re so strong/brave/inspiring.”
Try this: “It’s okay to feel however you’re feeling. I’m here for you no matter what.”
Telling someone they are strong or brave seems like a compliment. But the truth is, many people with cancer 诲辞苍’迟 feel brave, strong, or inspiring. They 诲辞苍’迟 have much of a choice in the matter. They have no choice but to have cancer, go through treatment, and try to keep up with the other responsibilities of everyday life.
Instead of complimenting the person, it can sometimes discourage them from speaking up about how they are really doing. They might not feel like they can tell you if they are actually scared, sad, angry, or lonely.
Instead of saying: “Beat/fight/win/lose/battle against cancer.”
Try this: Ask them how they feel about "battle language" before you use it.
The “battle language” around cancer has existed for a long time. For some people, it can be motivating and encouraging. But for others, it can be hurtful. This is especially true if the person has an advanced or incurable cancer. Their disease didn’t progress because they fought any less.
Battle language can also be hard for people who have lost a loved one to cancer. Saying that a person “lost the battle” can make it sound like they didn’t do all they could. If that person decided to stop treatment, it can also sound like you are questioning that decision.
If you’re unsure, just ask your loved one how they feel about this type of language.
Instead of saying: “Aren't you so happy to be cancer-free/done with treatment?”
Try this: “It’s so great to see you done with treatment. I want you to know I’m still here for you, for as long as you need it.”
This one can be confusing for people. Of course, people want to be cancer-free and done with treatment. But many are confused or surprised when they 诲辞苍’迟 feel happy and joyful. It’s common to struggle with long-term or late side effects, money problems, loss of a job, loss of independence, and fear of recurrence.
Many people report being on “auto-pilot” for most of their cancer treatment. For some, the end of treatment is the first time they actually begin to process their feelings and everything they’ve been through.
Your loved one might feel guilty or ashamed for not being “happier” or more grateful. They might keep these feelings hidden from everyone, which only makes it worse.
It's okay to want to acknowledge and celebrate a person when they finish treatment. But it’s important to remember that for some people, the end of cancer treatment and the transition to survivorship can bring mixed feelings. Trying to figure out the new normal as a cancer survivor can be lonely and distressing.
Tell, and show, your loved one that they have your support for as long as they need, even after treatment ends. This can make all the difference.
Anyone with cancer, their caregivers, families, and friends, can benefit from help and support. The American Cancer Society offers the , a safe place to connect with others who share similar interests and experiences. We also partner with , a free online tool that helps people dealing with illnesses like cancer stay in touch with their friends, family members, and support network by creating their own personal page where they share their journey and health updates.
The American Cancer Society medical and editorial content team
Our team is made up of doctors and oncology certified nurses with deep knowledge of cancer care as well as editors and translators with extensive experience in medical writing.
Aburizik A, Raque TL, Spitz N, Mott SL, McEnroe A, Kivlighan M. Responding to distress in cancer care: increasing access to psycho oncology services through integrated collaborative care. Psychooncology. 2023; 32(11): 1675-1683. https://doi.org/10.1002/pon.6217
Adams RN, Mosher CE, Rand KL, et al. The cancer loneliness scale and cancer-related negative social expectations scale: development and validation. Qual Life Res. 2017;26(7):1901-1913. doi:10.1007/s11136-017-1518-4
American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network. Survivor views: Social connection during cancer diagnosis & treatment. Survey. August 2023. Accessed March 1, 2024. https://www.fightcancer.org/sites/default/files/national_documents/survivor_views_on_social_isolation.pdf
National Comprehensive Cancer Network. Distress during cancer care. NCCN Guidelines for Patients. 2023. Accessed December 15, 2023.
National Comprehensive Cancer Network. Distress management. Version 1.2024. NCCN Guidelines. Updated October 2023. Accessed December 15, 2023. https://www.nccn.org/professionals/physician_gls/pdf/distress.pdf
Office of Disease Prevention and Health Promotion (OASH). Social cohesion. Healthy People 2030. 2021. Accessed December 15, 2023. https://health.gov/healthypeople/priority-areas/social-determinants-health/literature-summaries/social-cohesion
Survivor views on social isolation & loneliness. American Cancer Society Cancer Action Network (草莓影视 CAN). August 2023. Accessed March 27, 2024. https://www.fightcancer.org/policy-resources/survivor-views-social-connection-isolation
Syrjala KL & Chiyon Yi J. Overview of psychosocial issues in the adult cancer survivor. UpToDate. UpToDate Inc; 2023. Updated October 2023. Accessed December 15, 2023. https://www.uptodate.com/contents/overview-of-psychosocial-issues-in-the-adult-cancer-survivor
Last Revised: July 29, 2024
American Cancer Society medical information is copyrighted material. For reprint requests, please see our Content Usage Policy.
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